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Every Word I Speak is Resistance

4/11/2016

9 Comments

 
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In describing my experience with dysfluent activism, among the the first things I tell people is that the work I do is largely critical of speech pathology. I wish I didn't have to say this.

While I affirm the right of any person to seek therapy they choose for themselves, I am relieved that as a child I managed to avoid it. I'm not critical of speech pathology for the sake of being contradictory. I wish I could describe dysfluency and Did I Stutter and why I believe in this work outside its relation to speech pathology.

I want my work to be about speaking in my wild, untamed voice. I want to read poems in my untamed voice and revel in the fact that no one else sounds exactly like me. I want to meet other people with untamed voices and hear the worlds they’re building with their speech.

But my voice doesn't exist in a neutral political space. Speech pathology calls itself the expert on stuttering and tells me I shouldn’t be proud to be dysfluent. The largest stuttering organization in my country funds research on preventing voices like mine from existing in the future. At a self-help group meeting, I say "I like the way I sound more when I’m at my most dysfluent" and a fluent SLP reminds me that I don't speak for everyone in the room.


​I give instructions to an SLP at my workplace and they interrupt to tell me I can take all the time I need. I talk about stuttering and activism for an hour and after, a stranger from the audience asks if I've tried Lidcombe. Or hot marbles. Or singing my thoughts instead of speaking them.

Speech pathology has hegemonic control over the topic of stuttering. It uses that control to tell me I could sound less broken if I give in and assimilate. Everything I do with my untamed voice and in the name of communicative diversity is critical of this power. Every word I speak is resistance.

-Erin


9 Comments
ams
4/11/2016 12:49:31 pm

Beautiful.

I'm an SLP- turned-audiology student. I switched over because I realized one day that I simply wanted to give people the gift of perception-- and therefore self-expression-- without telling them what to do with it.

Love this blog.

Reply
Kristen
5/12/2016 07:39:02 pm

ams, It's interesting that you switched from SLP to Audiology to give people the gift of perception. The Deaf community pretty much despises audiologists for this "audist" attitude and desire to give Deaf people "the gift" of auditory perception.

Reply
Sam Rosener
4/14/2016 02:44:30 pm

I am a speech/language pathologist and agree with your sentiments. I see my role in "treating" stuttering as more of counseling and facilitation. It is more important for me that my students are willing to communicate than that they communicate "fluently". It is not my job to "fix" anyone's method of speaking. It is my job to help them remove the obstacles to communicating that they feel exist between themselves and their listeners. I can provide strategies that can help to increase moments of fluency if that is the desired result, but I would never criticize a student who was proud of their dysfluency. If the student is not perceiving a negative impact to their dysfluency, then that student is not eligible for services under my state's education code. Yes, I agree that there are many (probably too many) SLPs that see a need to "fix" what you have termed as "broken" speech. That is unfortunate.

Reply
Elizabeth W.
4/19/2016 08:38:28 am

I loved this too. It makes me wonder if there could be a distinction made between speech pathologists and speech therapists, with the former keeping their medical model approach and offering traditional fluency strategies. Then the latter could have a more social model approach and offer things like avoidance reduction or stuttering more easily. That way anyone actually seeking out services can be more informed about what is offered.

Reply
Pamela Mertz link
4/20/2016 09:33:12 am

Great piece. I agree that speech pathologists seem to come from "fix-it" mode and want to see measurable progress with their clients, which would be less stuttered speech or syllables.

I like Elizabeth's idea of perhaps having a distinction between pathologist and therapist so that individuals seeking assistance with their speech would understand that there are differences in what's available. Stuttering more smoothly with less struggle behavior is what people often want.

Also, I struggle sometimes with the idea of SLPs coming to support groups for people who stutter. In my limited experience with in-person support groups, I found SLPs present couldn't seem to resist wanting to jump in with some type of therapeutic tip or approach.

Reply
Frank
5/3/2016 10:42:39 am

I don't believe Erin, or others involved in this blog, believe in therapy to help people stutter more easily. She wants to speak in a "wild untamed voice" unimpeded by any stuttering modification techniques. Problem is, of course, functioning outside the disability friendly community. I guess academics and creative art types are more tolerant of stuttering.

Reply
david wachman
5/3/2016 09:49:28 pm

this is exactly the problem. as an activist i surrounded myself with people who made me feel respected who never interrupted me or looked down on or told me take my time. then i had to go to work or look for a job and i could rarely find better than a minimum wage job. hiring managers looked at me like i was never worth their time just a disabled college dropout the people i worked with looked at me with pity or as nuisance whi just couldn't communicate quite fast enough. after a draining campaign in ft Lauderdale where i spent more time in organizer meetings than at the 2 jibs that barely covered my bills i gave up i dropped out of the society that didn't respect my voice enough to give me the time of day. i figured it would be easier to be a homeless traveller drifting from town to town and it has been. i eat better as a homeless man than a stutterer trying to get by in ableist society and thats exactly why i find the did i stutter project so important. its a movement to restore our pride and dignity my pride and dignity that I've waited to long to reclaim.i shouldn't need perfect fluency to get by i shouldn't be filled with shame and anxiety every time i apply for a job. the seeds for a larger movement are here and im more than ready to see how far we can take it

Reply
s-s-sachin link
5/16/2016 04:30:56 am

Erin- thanks for giving words to my own nebulous thoughts and un-acknowledged feelings on this issue.. Unless we address the underlying Politics, the warped power equation, we can not benefit stammerers as a group, as a community.. It may seem like an impossible situation.. but things have changed for LGBTQ community after decades of advocacy and struggle by the LGBTQ community. They are no more being forced into Psychotherapy. The society can and will change. We just need to have the courage to see things dispassionately and say, what needs to be said, without fear or favor- as Erin has done.
Keep writing, friend!

Reply
celenor gomez link
3/24/2017 06:55:04 am

I really liked your article .Great

Reply



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