DID I STUTTER?
  • Home
  • About
  • Blog
    • Contributors
  • FAQ
  • Art
  • Contact
  • Resources

Where is the fury in the stuttering community?

11/3/2014

3 Comments

 
Picture
I, like many stutterers, have spent a long time feeling embarrassed of how I talk and who I am, and feeling guilty for making people uncomfortable. I lived in constant fear of my tongue which might at any moment derail—producing a tortuously slow trainwreck of gapes and grimaces, dragging behind them embarrassed glances always ending in shame. 

For this fear I spent half an hour every morning rehearsing fluency at 60 SPM: “wheeen the suuunliiight striikes raaindrops iiin the aaAir . . .” I was determined not to let stuttering hold me back – “I CAN ACHIEVE ANYtt-----ttTHING WITH PERSISTANCE!” Yet perhaps it would be better to say that I simply feared my mouth once again swelling shut with shame.

My speech pathologists taught me self-acceptance. Self-love. They told me it didn’t matter what other people thought of me. I should just ignore them. “They’re ignorant,” I was told. Sunday School taught me to forgive those who mocked me. Let it go—they’re not worth your time.

The one thing I was never told that was that I could get angry. Fucking angry.

Fury is a proper response to injustice and oppression, to silencing, stereotyping, and co-option. All emancipatory movements of the twentieth century—civil rights, disability rights, feminism, and queer liberation—have been fueled by anger focused into resistance. As the legendary Audre Lorde writes, “Anger is an appropriate reaction to racist attitudes, as is fury when the actions arising from those attitudes do not change.” [1] For so long, disabled people have been treated as objects of charity and welfare, expected to accept the scraps society doles out with a thankful tear in our eye. In contrast, the disability rights movement teaches us to “piss on pity” and be outraged at our exclusion and marginalization.   

So where the hell is the fury in the stuttering community? We are jesters in music and film. People mock, stop, and dismiss our words. We are inspirational when we overcome our “tragedy” and lazy when we do not. We are regularly not treated as equal citizens, denied time, jobs, and respect. I should be livid when your discomfort makes me hate myself. When you tell me to sit down halfway through my class presentation. When you don’t absorb anything I’ve said because you’re too busy feeling sorry for me. When you medicalize my body and claim to be the expert on my speech. I should be outraged at everyone who helps, in a million little ways, to create and sustain a world that oppresses dysfluent speakers.         

Yet for all of this the stutterer is trained (with stickers and (social) gold stars!) to be mild-mannered and submissive—to accept ourselves. Does no one find this absurd? This is domestication, not liberation! We as a community are far too easily satisfied. Oh, it’s certainly permissible if I occasionally get angry at myself, if it leads me to work harder and persevere. But direct that anger towards the world? Ruffle some feathers? Dare to make our frustration political? All of a sudden we are stuttering out of line. All of a sudden we are unruly, dangerous.

(We will not, by the way, be towed back in line through claims that we’re just playing the victim card or being lazy. In every movement, these have always been cowardly responses used to maintain the status quo.)     

Here’s what anger does. It focuses us. It enlivens us. But most of all, it centers attention where it needs to be: on the injustice of the stuttering experience. My tongue is not the problem. My tongue has never been the problem. Getting angry lets me remember this.

Anger is a rallying cry. In the fight for gender equality, anger remains a driving force behind suffrage, workplace equality, and bodily autonomy. In the civil rights movement, anger fueled leaders from Martin Luther King, Jr., to Malcolm X, to Audre Lorde in rallying the multitude and making sure they will no longer be ignored. Anger continues to be a life-giving force in the face of marginalization, as, for example, recent events in Ferguson have shown.

In the disability rights movement, anger forces those who are “abnormal” and subhumanized to be confronted, at least for an instant, as persons. When those who are institutionalized without their consent, medicated against their wishes, isolated, ignored, diagnosed, stigmatized, rehabilitated, sterilized, denied education, criminalized, and left in poverty with no escape beyond the bureaucratic welfare and intermittent charity of those caregivers and systems disabled people too often find themselves utterly dependant on, anger is a lifeline in demanding that injustice be recognized and that oppressed peoples be heard on their own terms. Anger is a bastion for communities who refuse to simply smile and be grateful. Anger fuels change. 

Anger can be this for stutterers.

It’s time to take back our speech.

-Josh

[1] “The Uses of Anger: Women Responding to Racism”


3 Comments
Robert Cervantes
11/3/2014 12:06:17 pm

Brilliant; absolutely brilliant. You have articulated quite thoroughly what I have felt for more than a quarter century.

Reply
Max
8/9/2015 03:22:41 am

As a lifelong PWS, I feel like being angry isn't an essential part of being in the stuttering community. This was especially reinforced when I visited my first NSA conference. The community is very supportive and while we have been angry at people who marginalized and insult us, we do not feel fury. We are an accepting group of people who do not need to cause a storm. Dr. Leana Wen the keynote speaker for the past one said we should raise awareness and advocate for PWS, as well as those with disabilities who are being marginalized. This concept I think would be more progressive, as most people are ignorant as opposes to becoming an outraged person.

Reply
Josh
8/18/2015 01:24:05 am

Max,

Thanks so much for your comment. I agree with you insofar as fury shouldn't be our *only* response. However, I think it is important to recognize that we as a community have lost the important capacity for fury. I invite you to read my follow-up post on this issue: http://www.didistutter.org/blog/stuttering-hospitably-on-anger-and-social-change

Reply

Your comment will be posted after it is approved.


Leave a Reply.

    Categories

    All
    Ableism
    Charis
    Cheryl
    Chris
    Communication
    Community Formation
    David
    Disability
    Disability Politics
    Disability Rights
    Dori
    Eli
    Emma
    Empowerment
    Erin
    Gender
    Inspiration
    Intersectionality
    ISAD
    Jacquelyn
    Josh
    Language
    Medical Model
    Notes For Allies
    Passing
    Person-first Language
    Podcasts
    Relational Stuttering
    Review
    School
    Self Help
    Sexuality
    Social Model
    Speech Language Pathology
    Speech Therapy
    Stuttering Stories
    The King's Speech
    Time
    Zach

    SUBMIT

    Authors

    We stutter and we're down with it.

    Contributors

    Archives

    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2017
    February 2017
    October 2016
    September 2016
    June 2016
    April 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014

    RSS Feed


Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.